Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse.

Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass.

When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter.

When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell.

He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night." :)
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