How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family
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What's Al Qaeda's favorite sports team? New York Jets.
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How do you make a clown stop smiling? You throw an axe at his face.
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Kid:Dear Santa send me a brother Santa:Bring me your mother
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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
-It was dead
Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree?
- It was stapled to the first one.
Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree?
-Peer pressure
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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her backyard?
Neither did she.
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What’s green and has wheels?

Grass, I lied about the wheels.
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Why was Sally rolling in the grass?

She was on fire.
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What's the last thing that went through Sally's mind after falling from a skyscraper? Her ankles.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?



Cause North Korea's missiles couldn't reach that far.
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