Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?



A: You don't share a toothbrush with your friends.

Q: Why did the blonde climb on to the roof?

A: Someone told her the drinks were on the house.

There was a brunette and a blonde speeding in a car. Brunette tells the blonde to watch out for the cops. Brunette says " You see any police lights". Blonde responds "Yes, no, yes, no, yes,no,yes."

Why did the blonde put her iPad in a blender? Because she wanted to make apple juice.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were standing in a line before a firing squad. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the brunette yells "TORNADO!" All the people turned around and looked and the brunette ran away.

Next, it's the redhead's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the redhead yells "HURRICANE!" Once again all the people turn around to look for the hurricane and the redhead runs away.

Finally, it's the blonde's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the blonde yells "FIRE!" and gets shot.

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell, she's got a grenade in her mouth.

What My Blonde Friend Did

She called me to get my phone number.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She sat on the TV and watched the couch.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tried to drown a fish.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.
They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius."
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
She studied for a blood test.
She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
She sold the car for gas money.
When she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
-The Awesome 1

A man shouts out to a blonde on the other side of a river and says " How did you get to the other side?"
The blonde replies by saying "You are on the other side"

how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours.





put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

what do you call a blonde with pig tails?

a blowjob with handlebars.