The only reason aliens were able to destroy the Earth in Independence Day was because Chuck Norris had the day off.
Chuck norris dosent call the wrong number. You have the wrong phone.
When Chuck Norris falls into water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
It's shatterproof glass 'cause Chuck Norris hasn't kicked it yet
When chuck Norris plays zombies at transit the zombies get on the bus and leave!
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and shit it out solved
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he doesn't push up. He pushes the world down
Chuck Norris hands life lemons