The 85 year old man goes to the doctor's do get a check up, the doc says that he needs a sperm count and sends an empty jar home with the man. The next day, he comes back with an empty jar. When the doc asked what happened, the man said;
i tried with my right and left hand, my wife tried with left and right, her mouth, teeth in and teeth out, we asked the neighbor to help, she tried with her mouth, both of her hands, she put it in between her legs, in her arms, and with her her feet. The doctor asked in a surprised voice, "You asked your neighbor? What happened?" The old man said, "We couldn't get the damn jar open."
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw
Kid: Mommy can I take a shower with you?
Mom: Fine. But don't look up and don't look down.
When there in the shower the kid looks up and says:
Kid: Mommy what are those?
Mom: These are the headlights.
Kid looks down and says:
Kid: What's that?
Mom: That's the garage.
The next day the kid takes a shower with his dad.
The kid looks down and says:
Kid: Whats that?
Dad: Thats the car.
The next day the kid goes into his parents room and says:
Kid: Mommy turn on the headlights, dady park the car in the garage.
Do you like Dragons? Because later I'll be Dragon my balls across your face.
what is the difference between women and airplanes, nothing they both have cock pits.
I hope u like tapes and CDs. because I'm going to tape my dick to your head so u can CDs nuts
Their is a guy at the bar, and he sees this hot chick at a table and goes up to her and orders drinks for themselves. After a few drinks, the girl and guy head back to the guys place.
After the two are done making out, they girl gets completely undressed immediately. The guy however, takes off his shirt, washes his hands, takes off his pants and washes his hands, takes off his shoes and socks and washes his hands.
The girl then says "You must be a dentist" The guy reply's "Well, yeah I actually am a dentist, how did you know?" The girl then reply's "You wash you hands after every time you take your cloths off". They then have sex and after they are all done, the girl then says "You must be a really good dentist". The guy bragging then says "Well, yeah I guess I am a really good dentist, how did you know?" Then the girl says "I didn't feel a thing".
why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
Roses are red
Grass is greener
When I think of you
I play with my wiener
What's the difference between liberachi and a refrigerator ." The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out