Children in backseats can cause accidents. Accidents in backseats can cause children.

I hate Circles, their pointless

It's, "Jamaican hairstyle day", at work tomorrow. I'm dreading it.

I really hope we can call ninjas with red hair "ginjas".

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.

It’s called Lunch.

"When I'm feeling lonely I don't shave one of my legs so it feels like I'm sleeping next to a man."

I'm off to Club Bed featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

If I was in a room with Hitler, Osama, and You and I had a gun with two bullets, I would shoot you twice.

I have the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo.