My friend over there really wants your number so they know where to get a hold of me in the morning.

Me: "Hey if I was a superhero guess which one I'd be!"
Girl: "Iron man, Superman, Batman?"
Me: "Your man."

** In a Bar **

A guy walks up to a girl and yells, "Fat Penguin", she replies, what did you just say? The man answers, I just said something that would break the ice.

Boy- i'm taking the d out of the alphabet

Girl- Why?

Boy- Because i'm putting it in you

Did you sit in frosted flakes? 'cause that ass is GRRRRREAT!

You remind me of my big toe because i'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture i own.

People call me Chris but you can call me tonight.

"Hey girl, quit acting like North Korea and blow me already"

Boy: I'm sorry, can I take a picture with u? I just want to show santa what I want for christmas.

If I had to rate you from 1-10 I would rate you as a 9 because I am the one that you are missing