Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:26 in Short  Favorites
4/20? You mean 1/5...

Reduce your fractions. Did you even learn math?
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:26 in Short  Favorites
Setting:On a computer key board shrunken in size
Harry: My mom must keep her shrink ray here
Jimmy: DAH! SHE KEEPS IT INSIDE THE DRAWER!
Harry:jeez! you don't have to yell.
Jimmy:sorry,I was standing on caps lock
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:25 in Short  Favorites
My wife gets so clumsy when she's pregnant...
Take tomorrow for instance, she's gonna fall down the stairs.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:24 in Short  Favorites
What do Mexicans put under their carpets?

Underlay!
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:24 in Short  Favorites
Boy: You like bad boys, right?
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Well, I don't mean to brag or anything, but I went on DisneyChannel.com without my parents permission!
Girl: *Sarcastic* Wow, whatta bad boy, what's next, not doing your homework on purpose?
Boy: Hold on, girl, I'm getting there.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:22 in Short  Favorites
Yo mama so Short She hang glides on a dorito
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:22 in Short  Favorites
Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present.

He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"

"Which Barbie?" the clerk says.

"We have Barbie goes to the gym, barbie goes nightclubbing, barbie goes to the ball, barbie goes shopping, and barbie goes to the beach. Each for $19.95. And Barbie gets divorced for $265.00."

Ralph asks, "Why does Divorced Barbie cost $265.00?"

"That's obvious" the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture, Ken's money..."
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:18 in Short  Favorites
What's the difference between a hare and a rabbit?

You can pull a hair out of your arse but not a rabbit
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:17 in Short  Favorites
Note to self: Its time to grow up, be responsible, and act like an adult. Self to note: Shut the f*ck up...
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:16 in Short  Favorites
___/\___________\o/______ Swim little guy!!! Swim from the shark!!!
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