A little girl and a little boy are sitting in the sand pit.
They are showing their private parts.
They both ask each other ''what is it?''
They both replied ''I don't know?''
so that same day when the boy went home he asked his dad what it was his dad said ''It's a red farahri you can park it in any pink garage.''
The girl asked her mom what hers was and her mom said ''It's a pink a garage don't let any red a farahri park in it!''
The next day the girl came home with blood all over her hands.
Her mom said ''whats that?''
Girl: Blood!''
Mom: ''From what?''
Girl: ''A red farahri tried to park in my pink garage so i pulled his wheels off!''

It was a joke not a dick, don't take it so hard.

What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?
A Seatbelt

Cops: Open up!

Me: I don't want tickets to your ball!

Cops: We don't have balls!

Cops: "slow clap" well played.

Little Johnny is in his closet when he hears a noise. His mom comes in and starts having sex with someone other than his dad. He hears a door slam and his mother say "Oh no, my husband his home! Quick! Hide in the closet." The man get in the closet and little johnny says "Dark in here isn't it?" The man is startled but then calms down. "Yes it is." "Do you want to buy my baseball glove?" "No." "I could go to my dad." "Fine. How much? "200$" Fine. This happens again later in the week. "Dark in here isn't it?" "Yes, yes it is." "Do you want to buy my baseball bat?" "How much?" "300$" A few days later his dad wants to play ball with him and tells him to go get his glove and bat. "I can't. I sold them to my friends." "For how much?" "500$" "That is way too much. I am taking you to church right now for a confession. They get to the church and little johnny gets in the booth. "Dark in here, isn't it?" The reverend says "Don't start that shit agin. Your in MY closet now."

A man and his wife are having sex when a bee flies into the woman's vagina and won't come out. They got to the doctor and he says that he wants to try and put honey on the tip of his penis to lure the bee out. The man reluctantly agrees and his wife and the doctor start having sex. After a while it has gotten more intense and the man angrily asks if he was still trying to get the bee out and the doctor replies "Change of plans. I'm going to drown the little bastard!"

girl: mom is it true that a baby comes out from the place the guy puts in his cock?
mom: yes honey
Girl: OMG so you mean my baby will come out of my mouth???

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "b*tch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."

The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."

At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."

A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello b*tches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"

A dad sees his son swatting a honeybee. He says, "For that, no honey for a month. The next day, he sees his son killing a butterfly. He says, "For that no butter for a month." The next day, he sees his wife kill a cockroach. The son says, "Dad you want to tell her or should I?"

WISDOM:
If you woke up one day with two balls, you're a man.
If you woke up with three balls, you're the ultimate man.
If you woke up with four balls, Run, someone's f*cking you.