the crazy man couldn't get through forest so he went through the psychopath

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

How was the underwear model fired?
He was debriefed.

I was going to make a 'third reich' joke, but now is not 'zee time.

What if it doesn't want to be called hot sauce? What if it wants to be called beautiful sauce?

Me: Hey Miss have you seen the clown that hides from gay people in Target?
Teacher:No I haven't
Me: Haha LOL
Teacher: Huh....... oh right that's funny detention at lunch.
Me: It was so worth it.

I had a friend who was addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

My weed problem is it the bag.

I was wondering why the ball was flying towards my face...

...and then it hit me....

After kissing a girl in back of the gym for several hours I said, "You know, this isn't working out."