GIRL: baby, how much do you love me?
BOY: look up in the sky and count the stars. That's how much
GIRL: awwww *looks up at sky*
but it's morning.
BOY: EXACTLY!!! >:-D

I went to a NY Jets game and I was complaining in the parking lot because they lost. So Mark Sanchez heard and he pinned me up against a wall and threatened me... luckily he fumbled me and I got away...

What did the German teacher say to the Jewish student?
Concentrate

2 antennas met on a roof and got married. The wedding was ok, but the reception was incredible.

guys, stop with the menstruation jokes...Period.

They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

The scare crow got promoted to the manager at a supermarket, because he was outstanding in his field