A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.



“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”



“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped.



“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.



“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ….”



“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.

A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"

A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Why is a blonde like a railway track?

She gets laid all over the country.

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.

"Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five f*cking times."

a guy is outside watching the day view until a blonde comes out of her house and checks her mail box she opens it and then she closes it. a few seconds later she comes out again and checks it again but angry and the she slams it shut .seconds later she comes out angryer than ever then the man walks up to her and said whats wrong she answers my stupid computer keeps saying that i have mail.

What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? "Omg, donut seeds!"

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n'snif sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.

Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.



Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

"I'm so good at cooking, even the fire alarm is cheering me on." - Blonde