Chuck Norris doesn't make left turns. That's because everything he does is right.

Chuck Norris doesn't kill time. Time kills itself for Chuck Norris.

If you run from Chuck Norris you only die tired

What every sports player should say after winning:

"First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.

Chuck norris destroyed the periodic table because the only element he believes in is suprise

Chuck Norris is actually the best bodyguard in the world.



Too bad he is self-employed.

Chuck norris once played baseball . He hit a home run. The ball got lost. That ball is now known as neptune.

Chuck norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together

Chuck Norris can speak French...... In Indian.