mum:go clean you room guest are coming
child:i thourght they were haveing dinner downstairs NOT in my room

Call me a Bitch and i'll show you who it is

Call me ugly go look in the mirror and see what pops out

Think I talk to much? Don't listen

Don't like me? Sit with the rest of the Bitches waiting for me to give a f*ck

-By Nanny

If the "you are what you eat" saying is true, then you must be a dick.

Guy: aw. Did you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Other guy: Nope. I kissed yours.

Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.

I would slap you, but I don't want to get slut on my hand.

The b*tch of the class strutted up to a fat kid and asked,
"When is it due"
The girl thought for a moment then replied,
" I don't know, ask your boyfriend"

Have you been shopping lately? They're selling lives at the mall. You should go get one.

"Yes officer?"
"I noticed your vehicle swerving quite a bit back there."
"I've had eight beers sir."
"That's no reason to let your wife drive."

Teacher: Ok class, whats your favorite element?

Me: THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!

*karate chops her to the floor*