Insult: You're gay.
Comeback: You wish I was.
Telemarketer: Hi, can I interest you in...
Me: THANK GOD YOU CALLED! THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD! QUICK! WHAT DO I DO??
(My friend Angel cracking on this ugly ass white dude)
Ugly ass white dude- Shut up Osama before i report u to the DEA
Angel- Your moms part of my DEA
Ugly ass white dude- Oh yeah whts that?
Angel- Dick Enjoyment Association
Me and my friends- Oh!!!!!!!!!
Girl:why are you so ugly
Boy:I'm you from the future
Guys are just like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
So I was in class this one time.
The teacher was just sitting there looking at me. Me: Take a picture they last longer.
Teacher: What did you say to me?
Me: Well I know I didn't studder, but wait I just remembered last time you picked up a camera it broke.
Teacher: Are you talking back to me?
Me: Well if I didn't that would just be plain f*cking rude.
Boy 1: come on can't can't think of a comeback
Boy 2: if i wanted my cum back I'd take it off your mums chin
Boy 1: .................
shut up you will never be the man your mum is
Guy1: at least i have got a dick Guy2: what dick?
Guy1: the one that created you
Jack*ss- yo twig why so skinny
Me- because every time look at you I have to vomit