Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:21 in Comebacks  Favorites
boy: i don't like you!
girl: if you don't like me remember it's ''mind over matter''
i don't ''mind'' and you don't ''matter''
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:20 in Comebacks  Favorites
your just mad because your mum has a bigger dick than you
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:17 in Comebacks  Favorites
Friend: -and they lived happily ever after.
Me: Cool story, bro. Wanna hear mine?
Friend: Sure!
Me: Once upon a time nobody gave a f***
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:16 in Comebacks  Favorites
Drunk Guy #1: Hey man, you should call me a taxi.
Drunk Guy #2: You sir, are a taxi.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:14 in Comebacks  Favorites
I recently saw a girl standing by a tree and I said "Why so lonely cutie?"
She said "I came here to fart."
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:13 in Comebacks  Favorites
What? Sorry, I'm allergic to b*llshit.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:13 in Comebacks  Favorites
Tie your shoes and stop trippin' b*tch.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:12 in Comebacks  Favorites
Guy 1: your a pussy

Guy2: i am what i eat

Guy1: then your a dick

Guy2: i am what i have
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:10 in Comebacks  Favorites
why don't you slip into something more comfortable......may i suggest a coma
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:16:09 in Comebacks  Favorites
Guy 1: The world is doomed!
Guy 2: No, it was doomed on your birthday.
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