Why women are like computers:
1. They are expensive.
2. They are never specific about problems.
3. They are difficult to figure out and crash inexplicably about once a month.
4. Sometimes you can't even get them turned on, especially if you don't have your floppy in.

Save electricity!



How would you like it if someone turned you on then left.

their was four women right? and they all had a counsling session together. it was a class for addictions. so the coulsler guy turns to the group. " ok all of your addictions reflect in the name of your child." he looks at the first lady... your addicted to money theirfor your doughters name is penny. he turns to the second one. your addicted to food, and so your doughers name is kandi, he turns to the third one, and your adicted to meth, and ur doughters name is cristal, then he turns to the fourth women, and before he could say a word the lady stands up and says stop. then she grabs her sons hand and begins to leave... "c'mon dick were leaving".

Wife: Are you jerking off in the bathtub?

Me: I swear, hun, I was washing it and it just went off.

If a woman drinks 2 glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well.

What is the difference between a priest and Listerine Junior?
The Listerine warns kids not to swallow.

Boy: Why is it stuck!
Girl: I don't know, you put it in to far I guess.
Boy: This always happens to me.
Girl: Here let me try * pulls and makes noises*
Boy: thanks. That would've ruined my only pencil.

My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"...



its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.

Boy: you left this at my house last night

Girl: that aint mine

Boy : sorry number 32 I thought you were someone else

They wanted something long and hard.....

I gave them MY HOMEWORK!