Two gay men live together in an apartment and have sex on a regular basis. One day, one man says he needs to go to the toilet and the other man just says "Okay, don't have a wank, we need to save all the cum for later."
"Okay" The other man says, and he goes into the toilet.
After a bit the other man thinks hes taking a while so he opens the door to see whats going on. When he opens the door he sees cum all over the wall and he says "I thought I told you not to have a wank!?"
The other man says "I didn't.. I just farted."

Having sex with you is lik running a red light, you tell me to stop but I don't.

boy-do you like penise caloda

girl-yeah now put in the blender

so theres this hot white girl and these three guys wanted to f*ck her there was a black guy a white guy and an asian guy that she hated so oneday she decided that she was gunna kill them through a different way then normal so she thought through sex so she put a poisin on her pussy so first the black guy went togo eat her out he died then he white guy followed and died the same way last it came to the asian he went to work and ate her out and she started to wonder why didnt he die so she asked andhe said "i no stupid i no dumb i put condom on my tounge

Your mate. You look tired Me. Because me and you mum went all night

Them: My d*ck is bigger than yours!
You: You saw your mom today!?

Wanna know what trust is? Two cannibals giving each other blow jobs.

I heard you like Mickey D so i put on mouse ears.

This guys is marrying a girl named Wendy. On his penis he gets her name tatooed to his penis, when he is hard it says Wendy, when he is soft it says WY.



For their honeymoon they go to a nude beach in Jamaica. The guy walks up to a bar and notices that the black bartender has WY on his penis at well. He asks the black bartender, "hey, you musta married a girl named Wendy too?" and the black bartender says "no, mine says WelcomeToJamaicaHaveANiceDay"

I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.