Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:58 in Short  Favorites
Whats an epileptics favorite meal?
Seizure salad.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:58 in Short  Favorites
Instagram now permits video uploads. So now you can not only upload a picture of your food, but a video of it going into your mouth.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:56 in Short  Favorites
Teacher: How far have you gone with your homework

Lil Johnny: About ten kilometers Sir. I went home and came back with it.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:55 in Short  Favorites
Daddy, I hate mommy's guts.

Just eat what you can son.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:54 in Short  Favorites
Roses are red Violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you But the Roses are wilting and the Violets are dead the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:53 in Short  Favorites
How to make anything sound dirty:
1. Think of a compund word. ex. Butterfly
2. Split the word up and use the first word in the first space. You get the idea.
I'll ___ your ____. Ex. I'll butter your fly
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:52 in Short  Favorites
Playing pass with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a ball.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:51 in Short  Favorites
I'm sending the woman I'm dating a drawing of our wedding.
And on the other side of the page her funeral so she knows what her options are.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:50 in Short  Favorites
Man: Is there any way for long life? Doctor: Get married!
Man: Will it help? Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come!!!
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:49 in Short  Favorites
There are 2 kinds of people on Facebook one who gets a lot of like on their picture and the other are men
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