Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Roses are red
Here's something new
Violets are violet
Not frickin blue

What's red and breaks your teeth?
-A brick!

when life gives you potatoes you must be from Ireland.

What Can A Cow Do That A Woman Can't?
Stand Up To Her Tits In Water Without Getting Her Fanny Wet!

how many jews can you get in a car?
two in the frount, three in the back, and six million in the ash tray.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick

how did hellen keller burn her face?

she answered a hot iron

Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
A: We're lawyers.

Who decided the monkey's couldn't run in the race?
The people who make that kind of decision