teacher:for todays lesson...
boy:bla bla bla...
me:shoosh!!
teacher:thank you!
so now we can continue with...
me:SHOOSH!!!!!

Friend:Who are we looking for? Me: We're finding Nemo. Friend:Then why are we looking around the school? We should be looking in the school toilets!

Did you hear about the super car of transformation?



Yeah, it turned into a road.

first guy: I was seeing this really beautiful woman for about 3 weeksl
second guy:what happened?
first guy: my binoculars broke.

the crazy man couldn't get through forest so he went through the psychopath

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

How was the underwear model fired?
He was debriefed.

I was going to make a 'third reich' joke, but now is not 'zee time.

What if it doesn't want to be called hot sauce? What if it wants to be called beautiful sauce?

Me: Hey Miss have you seen the clown that hides from gay people in Target?
Teacher:No I haven't
Me: Haha LOL
Teacher: Huh....... oh right that's funny detention at lunch.
Me: It was so worth it.