A book just fell on my head.
I've only got my shelf to blame.

Why can't a bike stand on it's own?
Because it is two tired.

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans

Velcro - what a rip-off!

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I always take a second pair of pants when I go golfing... in case I get a hole in one.

want to hear a construction joke?
I'm working on it

It was hard getting over my addiction to hokey pokey, but I've turned myself around.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

The good thing about dating a blind girl is that you don't have to worry about her seeing anybody.