Boy: I'm sorry, can I take a picture with u? I just want to show santa what I want for christmas.

If I had to rate you from 1-10 I would rate you as a 9 because I am the one that you are missing

If you were homework, I would do you on a table.

Cool dude: Your face is so aggressive to my eyes!
Nerd: You're lucky that you have eyes!
Class:oooooohhhhhhhh! Burn!

Annoying guy: you failed

Me: your dad. Didn't when he left you and your mom

you mustve been born on a motorway cuz thats where most accidents happen

Bully:you got a messed up hairline you:yo mama's pussy got a messed up hairline

*texting a friend*
Me: Hey what's up?
Friend: NOthiNg MucH.
Me: Um, ok. Did you hear about the new kid?
Friend: YeAH hE's iN mY sEcoND HoUr.
Me: dude, I think your cap locks is having a seizure.
Friend: nO iT'S nOt.
Me: Check again, and this time actually look at your phone, not your dick. It's never gonna grow long enough.

How many gallons of semen did you have to swallow to get that stupid???

(Mom playing with her child)
Mom-Got your nose!!!!!
Kid- Bitch If u got my nose then how the f*ck am i still breathing?