"Your gay!" yells a angry boy.

"Hey, what's the difference between your jokes and your dick?" asks the other guy.

"I don't know, what?"

"No one laughs at your jokes"

boy: you have no pubes

me: yeah because the rest are stuck in your moms teeth

Great story hun.
In what chapter do you shut the f*ck up?

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege.

Friend: Are you asleep?

Me: Yes, I'm sound asleep and having a nightmare about some idiot who's asking me if I'm asleep. :)

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

Kid: your ugly

Me: *sneez* sorry i am alergic to bullshit

Guy: where have you been all my life
Girl: hiding from you

Teacher: Have you completed you"re homework?
Student: No, have you marked our test papers?
Teacher: Well, no but..
Student: Shit happens..

Girl: If I was your wife, I would poison your drink
Man: if I was your husband I would drink it