Home is where the wifi connects automatically.

If I had a dollar for every time my dad questioned my sexuality I would have one badass harley... and some super cute riding boots.

Children in backseats can cause accidents. Accidents in backseats can cause children.

It's, "Jamaican hairstyle day", at work tomorrow. I'm dreading it.

I hate Circles, their pointless

I really hope we can call ninjas with red hair "ginjas".

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.

It’s called Lunch.

"When I'm feeling lonely I don't shave one of my legs so it feels like I'm sleeping next to a man."

I'm off to Club Bed featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.