Coming out of the closet would be a lot easier if my wardrobe wasn't so FABULOUS!

What if lollipops moaned when you licked them?

I don't understand why Wal-mart has a problem with people bringing their dogs in the store. Dogs are better behaved, smell better, and are a lot less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people there.

I like my women like I like my salsa, Hot and Chunky

You know your joke is stupid if you rate your own joke kickass

My life would be easier if I had a penis and testicles instead of a vagina and feelings.

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

You guys really need to stop judging people that breast feed in public. I can raise my puppy however I want.

I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat.

For all you mothers out there today, remember that you have high school tomorrow, so don't stay up too late.