We call her "magnet" because she attractive from the back and repulsive from the front.

Capitalization is the difference between helping your Unlce Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse..

Hummingbirds are just regular birds who can't remember the lyrics.

Summer is officially coming to an end and you know what that means... all you half naked ladies are going to have to find a personality.

I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it.

I'm naming my TV remote Waldo for obvious reasons.

Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.

If only God can judge us than Santa has some explaining to do.

This vodka tastes a lot like I'm not going into work tomorrow.

Welcome to America- Where being obese is genetics but being gay is a choice.