When you swing an axe at Chuck Norriss' neck, he doesn't lose his head, you've lost your mind.

Chuck Norris doesn't make left turns. That's because everything he does is right.

Chuck Norri's tears can cure cancer. To bad he never cries.

If you run from Chuck Norris you only die tired

Chuck Norris doesn't kill time. Time kills itself for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.

What every sports player should say after winning:

"First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

Chuck norris destroyed the periodic table because the only element he believes in is suprise

Chuck Norris is actually the best bodyguard in the world.



Too bad he is self-employed.

Chuck norris once played baseball . He hit a home run. The ball got lost. That ball is now known as neptune.