I hope your good with kids cause im about to make your mouth a daycare center.

So there's this dick and a cucumber and the dick and the cucumber are talking about who has it worse and the cucumber says to the dick I think I have it worse because I thrown into vinegar and left out to turn into a pickle and the dick says no I have it worse I get shoved into a dark place and get my head smashed against a wall until I throw up

There was a guy, a girl, and three dogs. The guy said I want to go coon hunting, the girl said I don't want to go. The guy said you have two choices, suck my dick, or we have sex. He went and got the dogs ready, when he came back in she gave him head, and said this tastes like dog shit. He said I know, the dogs didn't want to go coon hunting either.

Calling your girlfriend your "girlfrien" because you'll give her the D later!

What does KFC and sex have in common? once you have finished with the breasts and thighs all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!

I was jerking to some porn the other day when my mom walked in. It was crazy.

I had to rewind to make sure.

My dick is like a comma, always put in the wrong place.

What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar?



Mating call

How do you get 4 gay men to fit on a bar stool? Flip it upside down.

Why did the sad guitarist get arrested?
Because when a police officer asked him why he was sad, he said," I broke my g string while fingering a minor."