How do you get 4 gay men to fit on a bar stool? Flip it upside down.

Why did the sad guitarist get arrested?
Because when a police officer asked him why he was sad, he said," I broke my g string while fingering a minor."

Whats the smallest kind of hotel?
A pussy cause you have to leave your bags out

I hate auto correct; accidentally sent my grandmother a text saying "sex tomorrow?" I meant today...

A girl has a sleepover with 3 guys. Then her dad comes down and paints her vagina purple. He tells the boys,''I'm going to sleep. When I come back i'm going to check and see if any of you had sex with my daughter.'' An hour later, he wakes up and checks everybody. When he checks the first two boys their penises are purple so he knows they had sex with his daughter. When he checks the last guy his dick is clean. The dad says ''Good job.''
When the third boy opens his mouth to say thanks, his mouth is purple!

Honey... You're nothing but a door knob... Everybody gets a turn...

You better not pout you better not cry
you better not scream im going in dry :3

Did I tell you the joke about my dick? never mind its too long.

What did the Banana say to the vibrator?? Why are you shaking, they are going to eat me........

Q:Why do farts stink? A:So that Deaf people can enjoy them too.