Easy way to tell if she wants it. Text her and say "wanna bang?" Wait for reply and if she gets mad just say "oh my gosh it was supposed to say hang"

Next time you're having sex with your significant other, stop right in the middle of it.When she asks what you're doing say, "Shhh...I saw this in a porno once. It's called buffering."

Best way to answer the phone:
"Bob's whore house, you got the doe we got the hoe, how may I help you?"

Girl: What's up?!

Boy: I'll tell you whats up if you sit on it

Girl: Screw you.
Me: When?
Girl: Ugh! Asshole!
Me: I said when not where.

What's the difference between my dick and a flower? Nothing, their both for your mom.

69% of people will automatically find what's wrong with this sentence.

If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the f*ck up

I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina has been used more than Google.

New STD called "feelings", Don't catch that shit.