Q: What did one saggy titti tell to another saggy titti?
A: If we don't get help, people are going to think we're nuts.

Sex is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman... it doesn't matter if its Visa or Mastercard.

Johnny's daddy is the principle of the school.
He saw his teacher leaving school.
Johnny: ''Hey miss where you going?''
Teacher: ''Home.''
Johnny: ''Can I come with?''
Teacher: '' No!''
Johnny: '' I'm gonna tell my daddy!''
Teacher: ''Fine.''
They arrive at the teachers house...
Teacher: ''Johnny i'm going to take a shower.''
Johnny: ''Can I come?''
Teacher:''No!''
Johnny: ''I'm gonna tell my daddy.''
Teacher:''Fine.''
They are in the shower...
Johnny: ''Can I touch your belly button?''
Teacher: ''No.''
Johnny: ''I'm gonna tell my daddy.''
Teacher: ''Fine.''
Teacher: ''Errr... Johnny thats not my belly button!''
Johnny: '' Thats not my finger.''

Boy: Babe, tell me something that makes me happy and angry at the same time.

Girl: You've got a bigger penis, than all of your friends.

Me: If I washed my dick would you suck it?

Her: NO!

Me: You dirty cock sucker

I recently suggested to my wife that she should try masturbating with fruits. She went f*cking bananas.

It's not rape if you jump on a cheerleader when she yells "Give me a D".

*pregnant girl gets on bus*

Bus driver: Excuse me sir could you give your seat up?

Man: Nooooo, she shoulda fucked someone with a car.

Roses are red, poems are corny, take me to bed I'm feeling horny. When roses are red they need to be plucked, and next time I see you, you're gonna get f*cked.