Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!

Twinkle Twinkle little whore
Close your legs your not a door
Your gonna catch an STD
Your only wanted cause your free
Twinkle Twinkle little whore Your cheaper than the dollar store

A little boy walks in on his parents having sex, his dad says Jacob please leave me and mommy are trying to make you a brother or sister and, the child replies. Daddy do her doggy style I want puppies.

Girl: "Hey, what's up?"

Boy: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?"

My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things to her.

"...........dishes."

Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"

(Dad's daughter walks up to him)
Daughter- Dad i gotta tell u something...
Dad- Whats tht?
Daughter- I'm a lesbian.
Dad- Okay.
(Dad walks around then his other daughter comes up to him)
Daughter #2- Dad i gotta tell u something...
Dad- Whts tht?
Daughter #2- I'm a lesbian.
Dad- Damn, does anybody in this house like dick?
Son- I do!!!!

I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: "Thanks for coming."

Boy: Wanna here a joke about my Dick? Nevermind, its to long.
Girl: Wanna here a joke about my pussy? Nevermind, you'll never get it.

Eenie, meenie, miney, mo. You aint nothin but a hoe. You think your cute, you think your classy. Newsflash b*tch your f*cking nasty.