a socialist, a illegal immigrant, and a muslim walk into a bar

the bartender says "hello president Obama"

how did they punish hellen keller?

by moving the furnature around

How do you wake up lady gaga?
Poke her face

North West is gonna be scarred for life when she watches Bound 2

In Taylor Swift's song trouble, she lied. She said that her ex Harry was trouble. But which one of them has been in a whole bunch of unsuccessful relationships and has songs to prove it? Maybe its not Taylor's exes who are trouble, maybe she's trouble.

Q:What's Rihanna's favorite verse from a song? A: Hit me baby 1 more time!

What did Keith Lemon say to Evanna Lynch?

Irish you were naked.

how dose Michael Jackson pick his nose?
From a catalouge

kn: kick ass for the only {GOD} if you lame you dont love god and justen bieber sucks.
ooh can you think who is better of course GOD.

Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".