Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby 'North West' I will be naming my first son 'Taco'.

Nothing beats a beautiful girl with a great singing voice. Except Chris Brown.

What's lil Wayne's favorite kind of pizza?

Little Seizures.

What? To soon?

The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.

Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.

Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like 'I still love you' and I'm like,

Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?

Pawn Stars:

Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?"

Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."

Rate kickass if you are sad about paul walker Rate lame if you are an ugly b*tch who will go to hell

I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it!
You never know when you might need a nail.

When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".