Having sex with you is lik running a red light, you tell me to stop but I don't.

boy-do you like penise caloda

girl-yeah now put in the blender

so theres this hot white girl and these three guys wanted to f*ck her there was a black guy a white guy and an asian guy that she hated so oneday she decided that she was gunna kill them through a different way then normal so she thought through sex so she put a poisin on her pussy so first the black guy went togo eat her out he died then he white guy followed and died the same way last it came to the asian he went to work and ate her out and she started to wonder why didnt he die so she asked andhe said "i no stupid i no dumb i put condom on my tounge

Your mate. You look tired Me. Because me and you mum went all night

Them: My d*ck is bigger than yours!
You: You saw your mom today!?

Wanna know what trust is? Two cannibals giving each other blow jobs.

I heard you like Mickey D so i put on mouse ears.

This guys is marrying a girl named Wendy. On his penis he gets her name tatooed to his penis, when he is hard it says Wendy, when he is soft it says WY.



For their honeymoon they go to a nude beach in Jamaica. The guy walks up to a bar and notices that the black bartender has WY on his penis at well. He asks the black bartender, "hey, you musta married a girl named Wendy too?" and the black bartender says "no, mine says WelcomeToJamaicaHaveANiceDay"

I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.

a kid has a shower with his mom and says dont look up so he does and said mommy whats that the mum said the garage sweetie
the next day the kid has a shower with his dad and the dad said dont look up so he did and he said whats that daddy the dad said the harley
that night the kid sleeps in his mom and dads bed and the dad comes in a says copme on time to move i have to park the harley in the garage and the little boy said i just did that daddy