A kid went to the police department to report about his stolen bicycle.
OFFICER: Are you suspicious about anyone who would steal it?
KID: My parents, I guess. Because in the night I heard dad saying:
"Hump on it before Derek wakes up!"

another name for a vagina is a cockpit

What's a rapist's favorite day? hump day

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence

Are you good with kids?

Cause I'm about to turn your mouth into a day care.

Me: Hey girl can you spell the word me?
Girl: Yes I can, M-E, Me.
Me: you forgot the D.
Girl: There's no D in "Me".
Me: Not yet...

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.

One girl was getting raped and she threatened to call the cops he said ok go ahead let's see who cums first

If dicks were airplanes your mouth would be an airport.