What did the vagina say to the penis.



So do you cum here often

If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the f*ck up

What's the difference between my dick and a flower? Nothing, their both for your mom.

Girl: What's up?!

Boy: I'll tell you whats up if you sit on it

Next time you're having sex with your significant other, stop right in the middle of it.When she asks what you're doing say, "Shhh...I saw this in a porno once. It's called buffering."

Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only cums once a year.
Oohhhhh...*slaps knee*..

One sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. This means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587GB in 3 seconds... and you thought 4G was fast.

New STD called "feelings", Don't catch that shit.

I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina has been used more than Google.

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"



The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.



When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."