Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:08:25 in One Liners  Favorites
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:08:23 in One Liners  Favorites
Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:08:22 in One Liners  Favorites
I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, "I'm peeing in here!"
Fucking b*tch.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:08:21 in One Liners  Favorites
Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:08:20 in One Liners  Favorites
I am more pissed off than a dragon trying to blow out candles.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:08:20 in One Liners  Favorites
Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator.
I'm taking this shit to a whole new level.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:49 in Short  Favorites
I have a perfect insult for you: And you're name is Lydia!
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:48 in Short  Favorites
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:47 in Short  Favorites
A mysterious hole in the road appeared over night. No one knows how it got there.
Police are looking into it.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:06:46 in Short  Favorites
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.
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