How do you get a redneck to the dinner table?

HEY THEY GOT BEER HERE!!

Being married is great, especially when your wife looks like your favorite country star. To make it even better, my friends wife looks like his favorite country star too. But one day the got into a cat fight at the mall and some one yells "Damn, Toby Keith is kicking Willie nelsons ass".

You might be a redneck if you think that anal sex is just an affordable form of birth control.

you might be a redneck if you think

duct tape is spelled duck tape

You might be a redneck if you can move your house with your truck.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says no crack and it reminds you to pull your pants up.

You might be a redneck if your daughter's sweet sixteen is sponsored by Budweiser.

A teacher has a class full of rednecks. She asks someone to use the word 'Timbuktu' in a story.
A scrawny kid in the back raises his hand and recites proudly:
Tim and me, a hikin' we went,
Till we found three whores in a pitch-up tent.
They were three and we were two;
So I buck one and Tim buck two!

why did the chicken cut his legs and wings of ? to make his dinner

A bat came to his friends wit blood over his face his he ask his friends do you want to now were I get al dis blood his friends says yes and he dit go show and the bat says with the blood over his face do you see dat tree there his friends says yes yes yes He says I didn't see it