Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:02:48 in Short  Favorites
I wasn't going to download the song "Thrift Shop"...

But shit, it was only 99 cents!
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:02:47 in Short  Favorites
when a girl changes in front of you

(a) she likes you

(b) your level 99 friend zone

(c) she's pretty sure your gay
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:02:46 in Short  Favorites
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:02:46 in Short  Favorites
Husband (watching a video):
Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!
Wife: Honey, why you so mad? What'aya watching?
Husband: Our wedding ceremony.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:02:45 in Short  Favorites
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?

Son: Yeah!

Dad: Pussy.

Son: I dont get it.

Dad: Exactly...
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:02:44 in Short  Favorites
Dad: Say daddy!

Baby: Mommy!

Dad: Come on, say daddy!

Baby: Mommy!

Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!

Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!

Mom: Honey, I'm home!

Baby: F*ck you!

Mom: Who taught you that?

Baby: Daddy!

Dad: Son of a b*tch.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:02:44 in Short  Favorites
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:02:43 in Short  Favorites
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*
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