Husband: Honey, do u smell that?

Wife: No.

Husband: Yeah, me neither, start cooking.

I just saw two elementary school kids having a fist fight. So as an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance.

Q: Why cant whores count to 70?

A: Because 69 is a mouth full.

Remember kids, if a person offers you drugs, you make sure you take it, because drugs are expensive.

Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties.