A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender,...
Uploaded on 2014.01.06 01:50:03 in Blonde Favorites
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
"Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five f*cking times."
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
"Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five f*cking times."
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My newspaper came with a hilarious printing error.
Uploaded on 2015.01.10 09:04:24 in Funny Favorites
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What My Blonde Friend Did She called me to get my...
Uploaded on 2014.01.06 01:50:11 in Blonde Favorites
What My Blonde Friend Did
She called me to get my phone number.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She sat on the TV and watched the couch.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tried to drown a fish.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.
They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius."
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
She studied for a blood test.
She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
She sold the car for gas money.
When she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
-The Awesome 1
She called me to get my phone number.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She sat on the TV and watched the couch.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tried to drown a fish.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.
They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius."
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
She studied for a blood test.
She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
She sold the car for gas money.
When she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
-The Awesome 1
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A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm...
Uploaded on 2014.01.06 01:50:18 in Blonde Favorites
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean" So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on. The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?" "No I'm a blonde", she replies. "I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
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