Boy: Babe, tell me something that makes me happy and angry at the same time.

Girl: You've got a bigger penis, than all of your friends.

Why was Sally rolling in the grass?

She was on fire.

Is 'Pussylips' one word, or should I spread them apart?

Republicans are red, Democrats are blue,
Neither one of them,
Gives a f*ck about you!

A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender replies "$1". The customer completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender "Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of mashed potatoes and salad, and an entire cheesecake for desert?" The Bartender reply's "$5".



The guy still amazed then orders everything and after he is done eating his meal then says "Wow, this place is amazing, I really wish I could meet the owner of this place". The bartender then says "Oh well, he's upstairs in his office with my wife". The guy looks all confused then asks "What is he doing upstairs in his office with your wife?" The bartender then says "The same thing I'm doing to his business".