Little Johnny is in his closet when he hears a noise. His mom comes in and starts having sex with someone other than his dad. He hears a door slam and his mother say "Oh no, my husband his home! Quick! Hide in the closet." The man get in the closet and little johnny says "Dark in here isn't it?" The man is startled but then calms down. "Yes it is." "Do you want to buy my baseball glove?" "No." "I could go to my dad." "Fine. How much? "200$" Fine. This happens again later in the week. "Dark in here isn't it?" "Yes, yes it is." "Do you want to buy my baseball bat?" "How much?" "300$" A few days later his dad wants to play ball with him and tells him to go get his glove and bat. "I can't. I sold them to my friends." "For how much?" "500$" "That is way too much. I am taking you to church right now for a confession. They get to the church and little johnny gets in the booth. "Dark in here, isn't it?" The reverend says "Don't start that shit agin. Your in MY closet now."

Why did Charlie drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus

Johnny's daddy is the principle of the school.
He saw his teacher leaving school.
Johnny: ''Hey miss where you going?''
Teacher: ''Home.''
Johnny: ''Can I come with?''
Teacher: '' No!''
Johnny: '' I'm gonna tell my daddy!''
Teacher: ''Fine.''
They arrive at the teachers house...
Teacher: ''Johnny i'm going to take a shower.''
Johnny: ''Can I come?''
Teacher:''No!''
Johnny: ''I'm gonna tell my daddy.''
Teacher:''Fine.''
They are in the shower...
Johnny: ''Can I touch your belly button?''
Teacher: ''No.''
Johnny: ''I'm gonna tell my daddy.''
Teacher: ''Fine.''
Teacher: ''Errr... Johnny thats not my belly button!''
Johnny: '' Thats not my finger.''

What's the last thing that went through Sally's mind after falling from a skyscraper? Her ankles.

A husband and wife are trying to setup a new password for there computer. The husband puts "mypenis" and the wife starts laghing because the computer says "ERROR: NOT LONG ENOUGH"

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family