A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are...
Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:24:13 in Long Favorites
A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw."
From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You tightwad!" blurts the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout.
The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?"
"I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"
From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You tightwad!" blurts the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout.
The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?"
"I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"
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little johny and little april went to sunday school on...
Uploaded on 2014.01.06 01:29:34 in Dirty Favorites
little johny and little april went to sunday school on sunday and little april always fell asleep but one time the the teacher called on her and asked who is our creator little johny took a pin and stuck her in the butt and she woke up and said god all mighty and the teacher says right and then she falls back asleep then the teacher called on her again and who is our savior little johny pocked her in the butt again and she woke up again and said jesus christ then the teacher says right then she falls back asleep and then the teacher calls on her again and asked what did eve say to adam when she had her 23rd child and little johny poked her in the butt and she woke up again and she said if u stick that thing in me one more f*cking time i break it in two and shove it up ur ass
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A guy walks into the bar and the white bartender says,...
Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:24:42 in Long Favorites
A guy walks into the bar and the white bartender says, we don't serve colored people .
The man replies, I don't understand why you white people call us colored because :
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I cold, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.
You white folks:
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green.
When you bruised, you purple.
And when you die, you gray.
The man replies, I don't understand why you white people call us colored because :
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I cold, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.
You white folks:
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green.
When you bruised, you purple.
And when you die, you gray.
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The real reason women will never be the ones to...
Uploaded on 2014.01.06 01:29:34 in Dirty Favorites
The real reason women will never be the ones to propose:
As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.
As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.
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5 boys were playing football. 4 of them notices that the...
Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:25:14 in Long Favorites
5 boys were playing football. 4 of them notices that the other one wasn't very good, so they asked him,
"Why are you not good at sport? Boys are meant to be really sporty"
The boy answered,
"Well I am really a girl but I had a sex change"
The first boy asked her,
"What was the most painful part? Was it when they sewed a dick on you?" In which she replied no.
The second boy asked her,
"Was it when they chopped your boobs off?" In which she again replied no.
The third boy asked her,
"Was it when they pumped your muscles up" She still replied no.
The fourth boy asked her,
"Then what WAS the most painful part?"
The girl smiled innocently and said,
"When they cut my brain in half"
"Why are you not good at sport? Boys are meant to be really sporty"
The boy answered,
"Well I am really a girl but I had a sex change"
The first boy asked her,
"What was the most painful part? Was it when they sewed a dick on you?" In which she replied no.
The second boy asked her,
"Was it when they chopped your boobs off?" In which she again replied no.
The third boy asked her,
"Was it when they pumped your muscles up" She still replied no.
The fourth boy asked her,
"Then what WAS the most painful part?"
The girl smiled innocently and said,
"When they cut my brain in half"
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