There's a young man at the bar frustrated. Him and his wife got into a fight and she kicked him out. He see's an old man at the bar happy as ever, but notices a ring on his finger. He asks '' How long have you been married?'' Old man says ''65 years, and im still happy as ever'' ''How?'' Asks the young man. The old man then says '' Well one day my wife and I way back were walking with our donkey to go get some water from the well. On our way back the donkey falls and spills some water. I said ''Donkey thats one.'' It falls again later and I said ''Now dammit thats two!'' It falls yet again and spills all the water. So I pulled out my gun and shot it in the heard and killed it. My wife then yelled '' Now why in the hell did you do that?!'' I looked at her and said ''Woman now thats one''.

Sometimes I like to lay in a bathtub full of jello and pretend I'm an unborn fetus.