i went to the doctors today for my annual check up, and as the doctor is foreign i can't understand him talking so i take the missus with me, and the doctor says i want a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.... i said to the missus what did he say..... she said just show him your pants...........

joe & kate drving in a car. the car goes bump bump they gohump hump!

Boy: how long is your pickle?
Other boy: which one my
Lunch or the one by my legs?