A little boy walks in on his parents having sex, his dad says Jacob please leave me and mommy are trying to make you a brother or sister and, the child replies. Daddy do her doggy style I want puppies.

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Girl: "Hey, what's up?"

Boy: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?"

so theres this christian man and hes on top of his roof, because hes getting floded, the water is up to his ankles, and he prays to god.

man: please god, please can you save me.

ten minuets later a small dingy comes along and the people inside shout to him.

"if you climb on board we will save you from the flood.

man: no god will save me, go save someone elce.

so the people in the dingy went, 10 minuets later the water rises up to his waist, and he prays again.

man: god please can you save me from this terrible flood.

then a small motor boat comes along and the men inside say to him: "come on board and we will save you"

man: no god will save me.



ten minuest later the water is up to the mans neck and a helicopter flys past and sees him, the send down a rope ladder for him to climb up but the man refuses and shouts up "gods gonna save me go help the others"

so the helicopter dissapears, 10 minuets later the man drowns and in heven he says to god

man: god why didnt you save me?

god: well i sent 2 boats and a helicopter!