Friend 1: Hey, Are you allowed in your moms room?

Friend 2: Yeah. why?

Friend 1: Good, can you grab my pants?

There is 2 priests in the bathroom together,

One priest looks over and see's a nicatine patch on hes penis,

And say's does that really work ?

The other priest say's yeah im down to 2 buts a day

A little girl and a little boy are sitting in the sand pit.
They are showing their private parts.
They both ask each other ''what is it?''
They both replied ''I don't know?''
so that same day when the boy went home he asked his dad what it was his dad said ''It's a red farahri you can park it in any pink garage.''
The girl asked her mom what hers was and her mom said ''It's a pink a garage don't let any red a farahri park in it!''
The next day the girl came home with blood all over her hands.
Her mom said ''whats that?''
Girl: Blood!''
Mom: ''From what?''
Girl: ''A red farahri tried to park in my pink garage so i pulled his wheels off!''

(I work at a Russian-owned coffee shop. One day, I return from a smoke break and the phone rings; the owner answers.)
Owner: Allo? Da… Da… Nyet… Nyet… Da… NYET! Goodbye!
(The owner then walks over to me and tells me the following…)
Owner: Customer call. He says you smoke outside of shop. He doesn’t like it. If he says anything to you, you look at him and you say, ‘F*** YOU!’